George Costanza vs. Donor #20: Charity as a Gift

One of the Seinfeld episodes that sticks out most in my mind is when the heartless George receives a Christmas card from a friend. He’s excited until he opens it. It says: “A donation has been made in your name to the Children’s Alliance.”

Jerry says, “Oh, that’s nice!” 

George says, “I got him Yankee tickets. He gave me a piece of paper saying, ‘I’ve given your gift to someone else!’ Don’t you see how wrong that is? Where’s your Christmas spirit?”

Rather than getting the other people in his life Christmas gifts, George invents a charity of his own — The Human Fund (slogan: “money for people”) — and gives everyone cards saying a donation has been made in their honor.

I remember watching that Seinfeld episode when I was little and feeling so mad at George. But it’s not only George I was mad at. Neither his coworkers nor his boss were excited to receive gifts made “in honor” of someone else. I hope we can all agree that the characters in Seinfeld are generally not models for decent human behavior. 

Of course, because it’s a sitcom, the plan backfires when George’s boss says he’s been directed to “throw money at” a charity and gives George a check to the Human Fund for $20,000. George’s plan is exposed, but he learns nothing, and continues being a slimeball. 

Back in June, when Christmas is usually farthest from my mind, I thought of this episode. 

When you give “in honor of” someone, who is the real recipient?

I had sent out an anonymous survey to our monthly Water Promise Circle supporters. They give to The Water Project via recurring donation plans — $5 a month, $100 a year, etc. I wanted to know more about them to tailor the content of my monthly Water Promise Circle newsletter to topics they might enjoy. 

I was marveling at everyone’s kindness and generosity and reasons for giving, my heart full, when I got to the response from Donor #20. 

“My husband started my donations as a Christmas gift! He knew that I neither needed nor wanted another sweater, so he thought of what is important to me. I have continued to support your projects! It was one of the most touching gifts I’ve ever received. 💕”

Reader, I cried. And I cried harder when I kept reading.

“I know that, with my small monthly donation, you are doing great things where they are needed most. Helping people thrive!” Donor #20 continued. “The newsletters and photos that I receive show the joy that clean, safe water brings to communities! Together, we are really changing lives, and I believe that, today, everyone deserves clean water!”

As soon as I finished reading, George Costanza popped into my head. 

What makes a gift meaningful?

When I was little, I felt like this time of year was magic. I thought everyone could just feel the spirit of Christmas sparkling in the air, and that was what made people so generous and selfless as the calendar counted down toward the end of each year.

But now that I’m grown, I have to create the magic myself. If I don’t hang up twinkly lights, they won’t be there to bring a soft, warm glow to my evening. If I don’t bake cookies, I won’t feel the joy of watching a loved one eat them, crumbs tumbling onto their ugly sweater. And if I don’t give gifts, I can’t hold my breath while watching someone I love grin from ear-to-ear because of something I gave them.

Even in years when I haven’t been able to hang lights or bake cookies, I’ve always given gifts. Even when people say, “I have everything I need!” or “Just bring yourself!” 

It’s the message of almost all of the holiday movies. The season of goodwill and generosity is only good and generous when we make efforts to embody those values. The magic doesn’t live in the items we give. It lives in the act itself — in the intent, in the feelings of the giver, in the anticipation of the recipient.

But it also lives in the perceived usefulness or value of the gift. And, fair warning — here’s where I brag about The Water Project a bit.

George counted on vagaries like “money for people” as being enough of a cause to sate the curiosity of anyone who received his holiday “gift.” Nowadays, he probably would set up a fake website with fake reviews to fool people. 

When Peter Chasse started The Water Project, he rallied his local community to raise money and build water sources in Africa. He wanted to make sure that everyone who helped bring the water point to life felt the impact of their generosity, so he made sure to share photos of the project with his fellow fundraisers. And when The Water Project kept growing, he decided to make that aspect of giving — seeing what a gift made possible — central to how we do things.

Seeing the impact of a gift assures its honoree that the gift mattered to the people it helped.

How do you know whether a charitable gift made in someone’s honor will matter to the honoree?

For some people, making a charitable gift in their honor will do nothing, like for George and his coworkers. But for others, giving in their honor will touch their heart — and maybe even change their life.

If you’re thinking about giving to The Water Project to honor someone in your life, it’s important to first understand that person’s values. 

Are they the conscientious type? Someone who, when they learn about the water crisis that our brothers and sisters worldwide face, would find it impossible to ignore?

Like Donor #5, for example: “For me, it was the realization that I’ve never had to think twice about turning on the faucet, letting the shower warm up, grabbing a clean cup of water to drink (and maybe leaving it half-empty on the nightstand then tossing it the next morning). Of all the things I take for granted (and there are many), that in particular really hit home for me. It feels like access to clean water is a non-negotiable starting point for a prosperous life, and I want to help make a small impact, which The Water Project has allowed me to do.”

Donor #8: “It’s simple. It’s apolitical. It’s common sense. No water, no life.”

Or maybe they have their own experiences living with water scarcity or insecurity. Many who give to The Water Project have lived that story in one way or another.

Like Donor #4, who said, “I lived in Uganda, where women and children carry water daily.”

Or Donor #7: “My grandmother was a big believer that everyone in the world should have access to clean and safe water. When she passed, I started donating in her memory.”

Donor #13: “We lost water in our house for 40 days (due to freezing temperatures), and after that experience, we vowed to always give to help someone else have access to water.”

Donor #22: “I’ve been to parts of Africa, Central America, and other places in the world and experienced firsthand the struggles many are having to just exist. I have been blessed in many ways. It is a blessing to know that by regularly sharing just a small portion of the blessings I have received, my contributions can be positively life-changing for others.”

Others spoke plainly about responsibility — about having enough, and choosing to share it.

Donor #10: “I can afford to help. I make $2,000 a month and live in my van, allowing me a little extravagance such as this.”

Donor #16: “I feel blessed to have the ability to give, and knowing that the small donation is helping someone somewhere with simply water to survive makes me very happy. To those of us that much has been given, much is expected.”

Others are motivated by preventing an unfair future, questioning what kind of world we’re building for the next generation.

Donor #15: “I chose to be part of the Water Promise Circle because I care deeply about people and the planet. Clean water shouldn’t be a one-time gift — it should be a lasting promise. Supporting long-term solutions felt like the most meaningful way to help.”

Donor# 18: “ [I] want to make a lasting impact on these communities. Just doesn’t seem right to have [girls] miss school to get water.”

Donor# 21: “God has blessed us with resources, so we strive to be generous with our money. Access to clean water was something that appealed to us and our kids. We wanted to be a part of something ongoing to see the progress we can make when partnering with others over time.”

People who care about spreading access to clean water have different stories, lives, and motivations. But again and again, they arrive at the same conclusion: humans need safe water to survive. In that sense, water is absolutely one of the most useful and valuable things you could ever give.

You won’t need to wait for shipping or track packages or wrap anything to create the magic. And your loved one will experience all the joy and delight of seeing people flourish thanks to your generosity.

Earlier, I asked who a gift like this really belongs to. And the real answer is that it belongs to the people whose lives are changed by it, to the person whose values it reflects, and to the giver who chooses something meaningful.

If this would resonate with someone in your life, making a donation in their honor can be a powerful way to show them that you see what matters to them — just like Donor #20’s husband did.

Tip: You can donate in honor of anyone by hitting any “donate” button on our website and then ticking the “Dedicate this donation” box.

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